I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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