After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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