shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
