Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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