In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
