Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
