Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
