our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
