Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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