I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We are all done wearing pants today
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
