Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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