im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
