I'm so fucking centered right now
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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