Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
