I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize