Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm like, not good at living.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
