STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
