imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
