drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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