how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
