I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
