Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
