Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
