i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
