My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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