he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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