I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
