i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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