She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
