The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
