just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize