is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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