living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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