The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I believe in your delicious
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
