dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We left the knife in your bed.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
