he thought i was a dude.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
