After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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