I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
