i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
