I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
