I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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