I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
