Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
