sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
