..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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