Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
