The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
