this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
