I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
