Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
