I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize