im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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