I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
