i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
