When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
