Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
