The maid of honor just puked.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you would pick up someone in the library
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
