i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
