We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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