Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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