dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
