The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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