So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
