party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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